Updates and other thoughts

July 5, 2018

“Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. And then the murders began. — from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

A long, long time ago(2017), someone wisely said, “The first line of almost any story can be improved by making sure the second line is, “And then the murders began.” It kind of works as a way to give shock value to an intro. The questions are immediate: What murders? Why are the murders happening? Who murders?

I live exclusively on pizza crust, old memes, and books, and like any other reader I like a good hook, so here are some fun lines. Sources at the bottom.

  1. Once upon a time, a little girl named Laura traveled in a covered wagon across the giant prairie. And then the murders began.
  2. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. And then the murders began.
  3. When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home. And then the murders began.
  4. Fortran was created by a team led by John Backus at IBM in 1957. And then the murders began.
  5. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice “without pictures or conversation?” And then the murders began.
  6. ”Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,” grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. And then the murders began.
  7. One sunny Sunday, the caterpillar was hatched out of a tiny egg. He was very hungry. And then the murders began.
  8. When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special significance, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. And then the murders began.
  9. My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. And then the murders began.
  10. “I just love October!” Barbie thought, stepping outside the country inn. And then the murders began.

Borrowed sentences:

  1. Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
  2. Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address
  3. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
  4. some history of Fortran website/wiki that looked like this one
  5. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
  6. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
  7. The Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
  8. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
  9. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
  10. Barbie: A ride for freedom by Victoria Saxon